The majority of women we see in clinic are struggling and overwhelmed by the intensity of life, For a lot of them everything on the outside looks perfect, they seemingly cope well with their busy schedules, meeting the demands of what needs to be done while caring for those in their life. They look well-groomed and together but the moment they are given the space to be real and talk about how they are feeling the cracks begin to show.
Women talk about the constant unease they feel, how under the perfect veneer of togetherness there is a barrage of over thinking, how the merry-go-round of self-doubt circles around their head every time a decision has to be made and how they analyze all of their interactions and play out different versions in their head “I should have said this, I should have said that!” and “Why can’t I just say no?” Does this sound familiar?
Perhaps for you it’s the song that’s on repeat play in your head or always thinking about what you need to do next? Or maybe this incessant ruminating has become so familiar to you it is like your own personal white noise sound track, with you everywhere you go. Maybe you haven’t really considered that it is there until now.
Regardless of how this constant mental activity plays out for each person individually what is guaranteed is the unease and unsettlement that comes with this way of being. Physically it effects our sleep cycle, how our body feels and how energetic and vibrant we feel throughout the day. Overthinking causes us great distraction; we get so caught up in our head that we separate ourselves from our body and make decisions to disregard the body and us as a whole. With this separation we become insular, it effects the quality of our relationships and our connection to our inner-most self and the feeling of ease and fullness that can be there when we respect the body as a whole.
You may find, the unease that comes from this hum of distraction constantly churning away at times feels like it picks you up, while other times it feels like it makes you feel heavy and dull. Have you ever wondered why we use distraction? What are the perceived benefits we get from it?
Could it be:
That we are exquisitely sensitive beings who are attuned to feeling every little thing that happens in our day?
That the world does not encourage us to express and honor our sensitivity, so we begin to shut it down?
That no matter how hard we try to shut it down we just keep feeling, so very much, that we sometimes get overwhelmed and don’t know what to do so we look for a solution?
What if we used distraction, the constant barrage of overthinking, second guessing ourselves and songs in our head to stop us acknowledging how sensitive we are
and how much we feel? What if we choose these things to stop us being aware of what we feel, and this dulling of awareness bring us a perceived relief?
Have you ever considered there might be another way, one that is devoid of the persistent internal dialogue? A quality of being that brings ease, steadiness and flow. We have within us the tools to live with settlement and acceptance of our sensitivity and how very much we feel. We have within us the key to being able to meet the intensity of life with poise and grace.
The key is connection to our inner-most being and from this place where stillness is found, your relationship with settlement can begin.